google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
