maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
