It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
