I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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