i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
