Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
