strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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