dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I would ride that face into the sunset
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
