oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
