Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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