Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize