yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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