Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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