Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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