She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We got so high we made milksteak
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
