My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I currently don't understand fingers.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
