just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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