Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
