hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
How external is "for external use only"?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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