Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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