i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
