it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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