Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
