hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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