I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
