don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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