I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
