Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
