At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
