If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
