we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
