I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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