i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
