He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Randomize
