Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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