Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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