jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
