At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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