I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We got so high we made milksteak
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
