Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
