Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
