God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize