Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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