My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
party gras won. party gras always wins.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
