Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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