Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
