so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
