I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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