I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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