My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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