I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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