so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
