help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
