I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
