The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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