I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
