Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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