Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
