I have demons in me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize