I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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