I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize