Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
