a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
