i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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