Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
